Sugar We're Going Down: A Diabetes Story

Hearing "You have Type 1 Diabetes" is not something I ever expected in my life. After all, it's also referred to as Juvenile Diabetes because people are usually diagnosed with it as children. But lucky me, I got it as an adult. I'm getting ahead of myself, though; this didn't all happen overnight—it was a journey that spanned several years.

"Why do I keep hitting my head?" This was the first indication that something was wrong. I'm usually not a clumsy person, but lately I had been hitting my head when getting out of the car and frequently bumping into walls. This was about ten years ago; my wife and I were living in Stamford, about to welcome our son into the world. At this point in my life, I was not the picture of health. I was considered morbidly obese, had been diagnosed with sleep apnea not long before, and my blood work was considered pre-diabetic.

Being told I was pre-diabetic hit me hard. In the few years prior, when my wife and I were living in Queens, I tried making changes in my diet, went to the gym more, even tried a personal trainer. Nothing worked, and as time went on, I felt worse. My son was born, and instead of being excited and full of energy, I was constantly fatigued, still bumping into things; I was irritable and angry. It was starting to affect my marriage, and I felt I wasn’t living up to my expectations as a new dad. I needed to do something.

I made an appointment to see a metabolic specialist affiliated with Stamford Hospital because, at the time, I really had no idea what was wrong. I just knew that no matter what I tried, I couldn’t lose weight, and that seemed to be the center of my health problems. I had a full blood workup done, which showed my blood sugar numbers had continued to get worse. I was now quickly approaching full-on diabetic status. And guess what's a symptom of being diabetic? You guessed it, blurred vision and depth perception. This explained why I was walking into things. This doctor then put me on an oral medication for Type 2 diabetics in an effort to get my numbers down. And wouldn't you know it, I began to drop some weight.

But instead of getting better, my symptoms were worsening—I was now thirsty all the time. By my next doctor's visit, my numbers were through the roof. Not only was I a full-on diabetic, but my blood sugar was dangerously high. Little did I know, the weight loss was actually due to my worsening condition. I was told that I now needed to go on insulin. Before each meal, I now needed to inject myself with an insulin pen, which, needless to say, was uncomfortable and embarrassing. I was as miserable as ever; my wife was at her wits' end. Why was this happening to me? I felt like I had no control. I was spiraling both physically and mentally.

Now's a good time to clarify the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes. Type 2 diabetes is the more common form of the disease that used to appear only later in life, often as a result of a lifetime of poor diet and accumulated weight. It's when your body either doesn’t produce enough insulin, can’t use its insulin efficiently, or both, often due to lack of exercise and obesity. When your body breaks down carbs into sugar, insulin is what converts sugar into energy. People are getting Type 2 diabetes at younger ages now because of how we live and eat today.

Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease. It's when the body produces antibodies that destroy insulin-producing cells in the pancreas, and therefore your body can’t produce its own insulin.

Because of my weight, the doctor I was seeing assumed I had Type 2 diabetes, and that’s what I was being treated for. However, it was clear something was still very wrong, and I knew it was time to get a second opinion. So I made an appointment with an endocrinologist. She immediately sensed something wasn’t right and wanted to do an antibody test to see if I tested positive for Type 1. Sure enough, the results came back positive—I had Type 1 diabetes.

Not only that, but my weight was complicating things. A thin person with Type 1 diabetes is much more efficient at processing the insulin they administer. My obesity was making it difficult to process the insulin; I needed to be on both Type 1 and Type 2 medications. "How could this have happened?" I asked. No one in my family had this; I thought you only get this as a kid. Apparently, it's becoming more common for people who are genetically predisposed for Type 1 diabetes to have the gene activated later in life due to a virus or environmental factors. This was likely what happened in my case.

I was told I needed to be put on an insulin pump and would need it for the rest of my life. Part of me was relieved—I had an answer, and it was something I couldn’t control; I didn’t do this to myself. On the other hand, I was just diagnosed with a life-altering disease.

I'd like to be able to say I handled it well, but I didn't. Shortly after the diagnosis, I went out one night in the city with work colleagues to get some drinks. I was not in a good place, and I just didn’t want to feel anything, so I got blackout drunk. Not only did I get blackout drunk, but I also threw up all over myself on the train ride home. Somehow, I miraculously awoke at the correct stop and then stumbled home safely to my apartment. I walked through the door to my wife looking at me with a face of disgust. I thought she was going to leave me right then. But she didn’t. I've never let myself get to that place again.

The next few years would be an adjustment, to say the least. I now had to carry around this small, pager-sized device that was constantly attached to my body, feeding me insulin. Before each meal, I needed to make an accurate assessment of the carbs I was about to consume. If I calculated too many, I’d give myself more insulin than I needed, and my blood sugar would drop. If it dropped far enough, I could end up in the hospital. Leaving my blood sugar too high was obviously not good either. It was a delicate balancing act, but when my blood sugar drops, the monster comes out.

It's taken me many years to become self-aware of what's happening, but when my blood sugar drops too low—even before my monitor detects it—a switch flips, and I get angry and mean. Some of the worst fights I’ve had with my wife all started because I let my blood sugar get too low. It's kind of like that Snickers commercial where the guy turns into Joe Pesci because he’s too hungry, except it's not funny when you act like a jerk to your wife and kid.

But I worked at it. I saw a therapist to help me deal with the anxiety and depression that were now getting worse because of all this. Advances in insulin pump technology also made it a lot easier to manage the disease. My pump acts more like an artificial pancreas, thanks to advanced algorithms that allow me to interact with the device less often and can better predict when my blood sugar might drop.

The arrival of medicines like Ozempic was really helpful for someone like me because they allowed my body to utilize the insulin more efficiently, keeping my numbers stable. The only frustrating part was that these medicines were not helping me lose weight like they were for other people. I still struggled with my weight, and while I was happy that on paper I now looked healthy, I still hated the way I looked and felt.

That's when hockey changed everything. Once I started playing hockey and was burning 1,000-plus calories every time I skated, the weight started coming off. I still have a long way to go, but I’ve dropped 50 pounds since playing hockey. I was nervous about playing hockey with diabetes, though. I didn’t know if I’d be able to play such a demanding sport with this condition. But I found inspiration in a current NHL player who plays with Type 1 diabetes—Max Domi.

Max Domi is the son of the legendary NHL enforcer Tie Domi, and he’s had to deal with Type 1 diabetes since he was 12. He just started his 12th season in the NHL and is currently playing for the Maple Leafs. Max has been very open about his experiences playing with the disease, and I figured if he can thrive at the NHL level, there’s no reason why I can’t go out and give this a try at the beer league level.

I’m not gonna lie—there are some days I play and it's tough. I feel fluctuations in the energy I have to complete a shift. I’ve been on the bench and felt my blood sugar dip, beginning to panic, worried if I can finish the game. Even though it’s a bunch of guys that can barely play, I still want to put everything into competing. But I’m finding that if I eat right before a game, I have nothing to worry about. The more I do this, the more weight I lose, the better I feel.

Diabetes takes no days off; it's an annoying, frustrating, and complex disease. I truly hope a cure is found in my lifetime. But in the meantime, I haven’t let it hold me back—it’s made me more resilient.