Life After a Layoff: Setting the Tone for a Positive Journey

In April of this year, I had to face one of my greatest fears: I was "laid off" from the company I had worked at for nearly 19 years—the only company I had ever worked for. I put "laid off" in quotes because, technically, it was my decision to leave, though it didn’t feel like much of a choice. After receiving a positive annual review and a raise just a few months earlier, I was unexpectedly called into a meeting with my boss and HR. There, I was presented with a severance package and told I could either accept it or risk being let go in the near future without one. When I asked what I could do to avoid this situation—whether I could change anything or contribute in a different way—I didn’t get a clear answer. It wasn’t even my direct manager making the decision. I felt powerless. So, I made the difficult choice to walk away, at least maintaining some control over my future.

Let me be clear: I hold no ill will toward my former employer. It was a great company to work for, and staying with one organization for nearly two decades is rare these days. I accomplished a lot while I was there, and I had opportunities to travel internationally—experiences I never imagined I’d have. The company provided a stable, middle-class lifestyle for me and my family. My wife and I had been smart with our money, so we knew we’d be okay for a while even if I didn’t immediately find another job. I’m well aware that many people in this situation are far less fortunate.

That said, the experience sucked—plain and simple.

When something like this happens, it’s natural for self-doubt to creep in:

• Why did this happen?

• What could I have done differently?

• Will I be able to find another job in this economy?

• If only I had done X, Y, or Z, maybe I could’ve avoided this.

At the same time, my wife’s professional career was thriving. A few years ago, she started her own niche marketing firm that caters to non-profits in mental health and addiction. Her business was booming, and her work was winning awards. I was thrilled for her, and it certainly helped ease our financial worries, but I’d be lying if I said my ego didn’t take a hit. For most of our marriage, I’d been the primary breadwinner.

In the past, this would’ve been the point where I spiraled into a deep depression. But, honestly, that hasn’t happened this time. The main reason I’m sharing my story is in the hope that it might help someone else in a similar situation. Maybe you can mirror some of what I did to keep my head above water.

The first thing I did was surround myself with supportive, positive people. My wife, family, friends, and professional mentors were incredible sources of encouragement. Having a great therapist also made a huge difference—something I’m fortunate to have. These people helped me put the situation into perspective. Everyone goes through setbacks at some point. It wasn’t my fault. Life goes on, and something new will come up. My wife also reminded me that, without my previous success, she wouldn’t have been able to take the risk of leaving her corporate job to start her own business. That helped my ego a bit!

Another key piece of advice I received from others who had been in my shoes was to enjoy the extra time while I had it. Many people expressed regret about not making the most of their time off. Yes, job hunting is grueling and requires effort, but it doesn’t take up as much time as a full-time job. Have I seized every day since becoming unemployed? No. But I’ve enjoyed the time more than I’ve spent worrying. It’s given me the chance to spend more time with my family and pursue things that bring me happiness.

Speaking of things that make me happy, hockey has been a huge help. It’s given me a distraction and an outlet for frustration. I’ve played so much hockey over these past few months that I should be dominating beer league come fall! If there was open ice time, chances are I was at the rink, often with a sheet of ice all to myself. Focusing on something I love has really helped me manage my stress.

My hockey teammates have also been incredibly supportive. Many are successful professionals themselves, and some have gone out of their way to pass along my resume or connect me with potential opportunities. Networking is more important than ever when job hunting in this age of automated application systems.

Finally, I’ve learned to be kind to myself on off days. If I’m not feeling mentally well and all I want to do is veg on the couch, I give myself permission to do just that for a day. But I also make sure I don’t stay there. The next day, I make a point to pick myself up and get back to being productive.

Hockey players and coaches often tell their teammates to "set the tone" at the start of a game. Hockey is a sport that heavily relies on momentum, so setting the tone early can be key to a win. I’ve tried to set the tone early in my unemployment journey, and I’m confident it’s going to pay off.

If you’ve been through something similar and have advice to share, I’d love to hear it in the comments.